|My Dream Ride - From The Happy Bloom|
Damn I've been feeling so gansta this week.
It's like I fell asleep on the weekend and woke up all renewed and ready to roll again.
That being said, I should probably make a little more of an effort to dress the part and wear something more fitting to my fresh 'gansta' mood than the 3 year old cardie and Uggs I've currently got on as I lie here on the couch with my poodle on my feet and my tea and chunk of home brand chocolate coated honeycomb.
I feel like I maybe I should be dressed like some bike riding leather clad badass or something... although I am under no illusions that I would be able to squeeze my current excuse of an ass into any kind of leather and I'm pretty sure the pastel coloured ride that I dream of does not exactly qualify as Badass or Gansta.
I do know this - there would be some atomic eye rolling going on if my kids read this as they would be mortified at the idea of me - a forty something year old mum - using the word Gansta.
Yep kids, I just called you MOFOS.
Your mama is SO down with the lingo.
So it's no secret that I've not exactly been feeling myself lately... well not for the past 7 months or so for whatever and no particular reason, but then this week, it's like the fog lifted and the spring has returned to my limp.
I think I might have been held captive by that renegade Mercury in Uranus or whatever it's called.
That renegade retrograde or whatever planet has been supposedly causing some chaos on us humans for quite some time now, but the good news is it is cutting us loose and we are free to be like our old selves again.
Don't quote me on that - after all I did read all that at midnight on Sunday night after binging the entire series of Girl Boss on Netflix and the website I happened to read it on had loads of pictures of aliens and weird looking mummified things... so I am not exactly sure how legit it was.
But I do like the idea of being free of the Debbie downer mood I've been wearing for the past few months.
I certainly had more of a swing in my hips when I arrived at my local cafe for my coffee after the school run this morning and I wasn't afraid to flex some of my fresh new mood with the young guy at the coffee counter either.
He dropped one of my $2 coins down the side of the coffee machine when I handed him my money for my coffee. He didn't even try to stick a skinny arm or a broom down there and get it out or anything... he just stood there and looked at me as if I was going to hand him another coin from my wallet.
I of course laughed as I shoved my wallet in my bag and then as karma would have it (probably for me laughing at a minor), I gagged on the free sample of the fancy gluten free, dairy free bland as a mouthful of bleached toilet paper Paleo granola bar that I helped myself to out of spite.
I don't even like granola bars... and it made me gag.
Like proper gag.
And because I didn't yet have any COFFEE to wash it down with, I could have like properly died or something right there in the coffee shop in my 3 year old cardie and uggs, surrounded by yummy mummys in their active wear and parked bugaboos.
All the while that dude was still standing there waiting with his 'whatever weird lady' stare on, expecting me to cough up another $2 bucks.
So I did... I gave him a $2 coin from the tip jar and said "It's OK... Your day will get better because Mercury is coming out of Your Anus".
Yep... I'm SOOOOO gangsta.
Out of interest... would you have handed over another $2 bucks?
Also, has Mercury been messing with you lately?