May 2017Life Love and Hiccups: May 2017

Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Ten Ways To Tell If A Friendship Has Past Its Expiry Date

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It goes without saying that life would feel pretty empty without your friends in it.

Your sisters from other misters or maybe even your brothers from other mothers, these friends are those special ones with whom you have chosen to trust with your deepest secrets, who you turn to when you are busting with exciting news to share, and who you seek out when you need someone to carry you through the shittier days that life insists we endure every now and then.

They are beside us through the good times as well as the not so good and if they were suddenly gone - we would miss them as much as we would miss our left hand if it too suddenly went missing.

I mean, you could cope without your left hand... I guess. It sure as hell would be difficult though and probably even unbearable at times.

So then how do we cope when a friendship ends, and what if you were the one to end it?

Why would you even consider drawing the curtains closed on a friendship?

Hmmm good question, but the answer is simple - because sometimes a friendship has past its used by date and is no longer good for you.

Alright, so how can you tell if a friendship has past it's expiry date?

Well, if you are anything like me, you probably try to hang on to those friendships to the bitter end. You do what you can to 'fix' it and you are not beyond donning the gloves in a bid to fight for them.

You think nothing of whipping out your nunchucks to defend them to the end when others repeatedly speak badly of them, and often you are willing to forgive the unforgivable because let's get real here... breaking up with someone sucks and who is ever really ready to just let a friendship go?

Maybe you are more ready than you realise.

Ouch.

I know.

Your left hand is twitching right?

I've had to break up with a friend before, and it was an awful thing to go through. You miss them like crazy and for a long time you find yourself reaching for the phone to call them to tell them about your news or to share a juicy bit of gossip you know they would love.

There's no denying that the end of a friendship can leave a big gaping hole in your life, but much like that infected hole you once regretted piercing in your belly button... it needs time to close up and to heal, but you know you'll be better without it in the long run.

A very special friend once explained to me her views on friendships and how they can pretty much be divided up into three different categories; Reasons, Seasons or Lifers.

The 'Reasons' are those who came into your life for... well der, a reason.

There was something that brought you together in the first place, school or uni, mother's group or even your work. Maybe she was a friend of your sister or a fellow school mum newbie who held your hair for you whilst you expelled the excess champagne you nervously consumed at your first school trivia night.

Whatever or however - she came in to your life for a reason, albeit one you may never actually understand, and she may only be around for a short time or perhaps for many many years to come.

There is a chance she may become a lifer... but there is also a chance that she won't, because no matter the reason that she came into your life in the first place, sometimes, that reason isn't enough to keep the friendship alive forever.

The 'Seasons' come and go like their name suggests. Often we fall hard and fast for these friends, but they rarely last the distance long term.

One day you just quietly fall out of friendship with this friend, and you may not even realise it has happened until you find yourself in the supermarket feigning interest in the calorie content of a can of Whiskers rather than making eye contact with her and enduring an awkward post seasonal friendship conversation.

The 'Lifers' are your soul mates, your kindred spirits and the ones you would do anything for. You love them with all your heart and even though you may have the occasional spat - you never doubt the bond that ties you together. Your friendship with a 'Lifer' is never too hard.

Often you will go for long periods where you don't see each other or even speak, but that moment you are reunited... it's easy as and you effortlessly pick right up wherever it was that you left off.

Friendship shouldn't be all hard work. It really shouldn't.

That's not too say you'll never hit bumps along the way, but a good friendship should never make you do something you don't feel right about and it shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself, or sad or guilty... unless you bonk your bestie's boyfriend or hubby because if you do that then you should TOTALLY feel the guilt and suffer in it because YOU are the bad friend.

So if friendships don't always last forever, how do you tell if your friendship has past its expiry date?

Are the signs obvious?

Sometimes they are... sometimes they are not, but I think it is fair to say that if you ever find yourself regularly feeling any of the following with a friend, it's probably time to consider calling it quits and put that friendship out with your recycling.

1. She's not happy for you. 

Our friends should be happy for us if we are lucky enough to get a win under our belts, and she should with no questions asked, bring out the best glasses if we arrive on her doorstep with champagne and good news to share.

I mean you would for your friend right?

If she has an ongoing reluctance to share in your joy, doesn't have time to listen to your exciting news or is always 'too busy' to celebrate a win with you... then you probably need to check the use by date on that friendship.

2. She likes to make you feel guilty.

Now I'm not talking about the kind of guilt you would get if you stole your bff's boyfriend, or promotion or recklessly trashed her favourite dress she graciously lent you. No, we have already established that you probably deserve any guilt you feel for those things.

I mean the unnecessary guilt that you get piled with when you haven't called her for a while (helloooo, she has fingers doesn't she? She could call you!) or the guilt you are made to feel when a friend who never has time to call / see / catch up with you, somehow manages to make you feel bad for not spending enough time with her or for spending too much time with someone else.

Then there is the guilt she gives you when you dare to speak your mind or disagree with her. Isn't that what a good friendship is built on - honesty? You should be able to discuss with her how you feel about something without being made to feel any guilt for offending her.

That kind of guilt is just not fair and if you repeatedly find yourself having to make up excuses to avoid being smacked over the head with a bucket of unfair guilt, then it's time for you to quietly back away and don't go back.

3. There isn't an equal exchange.

If you are having to do all the work and always be the one to call her or organise when, where and how you are going to catch up, or if you are there for her whenever she needs you but when you need her?

Crickets...

If you are constantly giving and not getting anything in return - then stop it right now because
you deserve more than that. Friendship is after all a two way street and if the exchange isn't flowing both ways then you need to change direction... and put your foot on the accelerator as you drive away.

4. She always talks about herself but never asks about you.

Of course there are going to be times where you won't get a word in edgewise. Your friend might be going through a tough time and just needs time to vent, or maybe she is really excited about something and genuinely wants to share it with you... at a million words per minute.

Generally though, it is not like that ALL the time and you both get equal air time to share what's going on in your life with each other.

It's probably fair to say that if every conversation is about her and she never stops to ask how you are and properly listen to your answer... then she probably doesn't really care too much and the last thing you need is a friend who doesn't give a shit about you.

5. You are always her scapegoat.

Oh man, I'm pretty sure we've all used someone or have been used ourselves as an excuse at some time or another in our lifetime of friendships. But there is a difference between being used as an excuse to not go to a party and constantly finding yourself being used a pawn in a dirty game or being blamed for something you didn't do or say because your friend dumped you in it.

If you are familiar with the latter scenario then... RUN because aint no-one who needs frenemies like that in their life.

6. She is always putting you down.

Now I am not talking about your friend who kindly pointed out your camel toe before you headed out to dinner the other night... no, that is a GOOD friend, keep her!

I'm referring to the one who feels it is her responsibility to point out every flaw you have - whether it be to do with the way you look, how you parent, how you manage your love life or your finances or even how you keep your home.

Good friends go out of their way to build you up and keep you up there, not tear you down and give you an extra boot in the side to make sure you stay there.


7. She is ALWAYS negative about everything.

We have all had at least one of these friends right? A negative nancy who never has anything positive to say about anything or anyone.

How flipping exhausting are they?!

She never sees the positive... in fact she goes out of her way to point out the negatives.

Be careful - she is like a walking talking magnet for negativity because the reality is - you get back what you put out, and so if you are always finding things to moan about... well the universe will make sure you don't run out of those things. You don't want to spend too much time with someone like that... that bad juju can be contagious you know.

8. She is a constant one upperer.

Ha - She's had it worse than you, done it tougher than you, or did it better than you... or at least that's what she insists on telling you.... all the bloody time.

Trust me, if you get a whiff of a 'one upperer' - give her some of the 'you win' recognition she craves and then whilst she's distracted with her victory RUN for the hills because no matter what it is you choose to share with her, she will somehow find a way to make it about her instead... only bigger and better than your version.

9. She won't admit when she is wrong or say sorry.

Look, forgiving is one of the key foundations of a solid friendship.

We are ALL going to screw up at times, we're mortals, we do that, but a good friend will recognise when she has done something wrong and she will own it, say sorry and do what she can to make things right again.

If you find yourself constantly forgiving someone who doesn't deserve or even realise they need to be forgiven, say your goodbyes and get out of there. That's not a friend you have there and deep down you already know it.


10. She makes you feel bad more than she makes you feel good.

You guys - friends are supposed to add to your life in a good way. They should be there to support you when you need them, to laugh and cry and to celebrate with you too... just as you are for them.

She should care as much about you as you care about her and for the most part - you should leave her looking forward to the next time you get to see her or speak with her again.

If a 'friend' constantly leaves you feeling sad or used or not valued - there is a good chance the friendship has past its expiry date. If you find yourself getting anxious at the thought of telling her how you are feeling in case she 'goes off' at you, then it is a deadset doner.

Let's face it, letting a friendship go is usually a lot harder than it sounds. It can hurt deeply for both of you and like with any loss - you need to give yourself time to grieve.

But eventually, you will feel better, lighter, and perhaps even relieved.

Don't feel guilty about that relief.

Please don't.

Think of your life as a fridge.

If you insist on hanging onto something that is well past its 'use by date', you are not only at risk of it turning all weird and toxic on you, you are eventually going to run out of room to put anything new in there.

As hard as it is - sometimes you need to let of a friendship to free up the time to spend on someone else who is both appreciative and worthy of what you bring to the table and is someone who is willing to bring to the table too.

Have you ever had to break up with a friend?
Was it hard or was it a relief?


Monday, 22 May 2017

FETCH Me The Remote

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Brought to you by Nuffnang & Fetch

Fetch me the remote people because I am officially the Queen Bee of the Box… at least I am in Chateau Le Hiccups!

OK so technically I am kind of a self declared Queen Bee… but excuse me, I truly believe that I have earned this position.

You see, for years I have clung by my shellac to the very bottom of the hierarchy that determined who gets to control the tv remote. Once upon a time, I was top dog and I was right there at the top of that hierarchy and I could flick to and fro and change stations whenever I felt like it.

I watched whatever sparked my interest, the hubby was happy for me to choose the Friday night movie (I was generally uncontested given he usually fell asleep before the first ad break), and if I wanted to watch Big Brother… well I darn well did and there were no questions asked.

And then we had kids.

For a while it appeared that I was maintaining my control of that remote. Thanks to a baby that slept like clockwork, I was totally up to date on who was doing who on the Bold and The Beautiful… but then slowly, that control began to waver and eventually… it just kind of slipped away.

Neighbours was replaced by Night Garden, The Bold and The Beautiful was replaced by Bear In The Big Blue House and the only TV I had time to watch was a snatch of the late night news as I sat in the dark feeding a baby.

For a looooong long time it seemed that I was destined to live a life of G rated viewing and the only reality TV that featured on my G rated diet was a show that involved celebrities being dunked in green slime.

The years passed and then one day a small glimmer of light shown through and it seemed that; perhaps, our children were losing interest in TV and bumped it in favour of homework and bedtimes. 

Bahaha, oh alright, that’s not exactly how it played out. I may have conveniently tweaked the homework and bedtime schedules to conflict very nicely with the Rose Ceremonies and other important episodes.

Hallelujah Marge, the rains came and once again I was reunited with my beloved remote control.

My children and hubby were fed an introductory diet of Masterchef and The X Factor and they even kind of enthusiastically (with some encouragement) learned to love a good rose ceremony or two…  but try as I did (and oh I did try) they just never understood my connection with The Kardashian Family.

As our own little family grew, I found myself out numbered by males in our house, four to one to be precise. It was inevitable that my reign over the remote would be challenged, and challenged it was. I fought hard… oh I fought very hard, but alas the footy and surfing and Bondi Rescue were the victors and me and my reality mates were the big old losers.

Now hold on… don’t go getting all sad on me, this is not a sad story. You didn’t really think I was just going to give up did you? 

If you think back to a couple of paragraphs ago, I started this post with the announcement that I am the Queen Bee of the remote right? There’s nothing sad about that. It fact it clearly indicates a happy ending so let’s get to the happy ever after part shall we?!

A happy ending it is indeed, because you see last week a little box arrived on our doorstep and was my husband’s or my children’s names on that box? 

Nooooo. it had MY NAME on it! 

I know, I know… you are dying to know what was Inside that box right? 

Well here’s the bit where you’ll probably need to hold me… 

Wait…nope, I’m good… for now.

You see - in that box was another very special box and a shiny new remote control also with MY name on it. 

Oh yeah, Christmas came early for mama you guys -  because I am an official #motherfetcher reviewer and one very proud owner of Fetch.









Yup, yup, yup… I am now the chuffed up owner of Fetch Mighty and it sits proudly on the Parker in our lounge room like it #motherfetching owns the place… which it kind of does because when we attached that mighty little box to the TV and internet… it does all kinds of awesome things and I am in charge.

They can watch Footy and surfing if they like… heck they can watch Disney, MTV, National Geographic and all the Nikelodeon slime fests and episodes Bondi Rescue that they can possibly stomach… but all at a time that suits everyone… me included.

Now I am only just scratching the surface here you guys, because it hasn’t been plugged in for long with us yet and I’ll share more as we discover more about this mighty little box, but so far we can tell you that Fetch is quite possibly one of the greatest inventions ever… at least in my humble opinion.

I mean, get this… it gives us access to over 6000 of the latest and greatest movies that we can rent or buy on demand. We watched Lion on our Friday Night Family movie night. LION people! The seats are still warm from the bums of people watching LION in cinemas and we could watch it from the comfort of our own couch.

That is quite possibly worthy enough on its own to swoop in and claim the title of ‘the best ever invention ever’.

We can watch all our regular free to air TV programs and rather than argue over who gets to watch what and when… we all get to watch because our mate Fletch the Fetch can record up to 6 shows at once whilst we are watching another.

We can purchase individual or entire seasons of all of those tv shows I’ve been wanting to watch but have yet to see - HELLO Game of Thrones - and we can even play catchup on our regular TV as we can access Catch up TV apps like Plus7, 9Now and Tenplay and more on our fancy new friend. 

Wanna know my favourite thing about Fetch?

My absolute knee slapping favourite thing is that you can watch Netflix and Stan via Fetch which means that the winter hibernation /series binge festival has officially begun.

OK, let’s get to the cost of all this awesomeness because I know that’s probably what is going through your head right now.,, right? 




So, you can buy Fetch Mighty outright for just $399 RRP and pay a $1.00 activation fee for the starter pack. The starter pack includes TV Recording, Catch up TV Apps, Netflix and Stan Apps (you just use your own subscription to watch these), Fetch Mobile, and access to the TV and Movie Store and it’s 6000 titles where you can rent or buy the movies as you like. 

You can subscribe to the TV packages that include E!, HGTV Home and Garden, Style and ESPN and they start from just $6.00 per month or $20 per month for the lot.

Alternatively, a number of providers offer Fetch bundles (including the Starter Pack) in their internet packages with prices from with plans from $10 - $15 depending on the provider. You can check out the who and hows of those providers and packages here.

There you have it - that is the official lowdown of how I managed to snatch back my title of Queen of The Box. I’m happy, the hubby is happy and the kids are happily earning points in my genius reward system - a marvellously devious set up of mine where they can earn points for good behaviour and then buy ‘Fetch Time’ with their points. 

You guys so need some Fetch in your life, you truly do.

Now if you will excuse me, I have Season 2 of Orange is The New Black to devour.

Do you need a little Fetch in your life?
What is your absolute must not miss tv show at the moment?





Thursday, 18 May 2017

Four Years After A Little Insane Courage

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A memory popped up in my Facebook feed yesterday from 4 years ago...

It was a reminder that it is 4 years since my fabulous midlife meltdown that resulted in me doing the craziest thing I have ever done - quit my job, bringing to an end my 20 year career in order to make those dreams of mine I had... a reality.

FOUR YEARS you guys!!!

Sweet Baby Cheeses, I can remember it as clearly as if it were only last month...  maybe because it was single handedly one of the most scary and yet at the same time, most exhilarating things I have ever done in my entire life to date.

That phone call I made to my boss that day literally slammed the brakes on my life and brought everything to a stand still.

I had no idea what I was going to do with myself.

I had no idea how I was going to be able to afford such a frivolous act of spontaneity.

I had no idea where I would even begin to start with those dreams I had, let alone where I would be with them four years on.

I had no idea who this crazy person was that I had become and what possessed me to do such a thing.

What I did know was that when I arrived back from Bali only the day before, I was desperately miserable. Miserable enough that I was willing to walk away from the past twenty years of my working life, away from the security and the stability of the company I worked for and away from my career and possibly the best income I could ever hope to earn again.

I knew I didn't want a job that required travel and for me to be away from my husband and my kids so much.

I knew that I wanted to be the one to drive my kids to school and be there when they came home.

I knew in my heart that what I was doing each day.... wasn't what I was born to do.

And so I quit and vowed to at the very least pretend to be brave and chase those dreams from that moment on.

Do I regret it?

That is one of the most frequent questions I have been asked since then and that's an easy one for me to answer...

HELL NO!

NO, not for one freaking moment do I regret it!

Look, I am not going to lie to you. There have been panic inducing times in the past four years when money has been so tight that I wondered how we were going to pay the school fees or the car rego and I have no doubt there will probably be more times like that.

We have had to make some mighty big changes in our family life to afford me to not have to go back to the corporate world.

We haven't been on holidays since I quit my job, we can't afford to buy all the latest and greatest technology or toys. Rarely do we go out to fancy places for dinner or splash money around on expensive gifts or days out.

But we are happy.

Like really happy.

Like living my dream kind of happy.

Four years ago, I thought money equalled happiness. Ha... how wrong I was.

Don't get me wrong... we all know that money can buy you things or allow you to do things that can make you feel happy, but that kind of happiness doesn't generally last all that long, nor does it dull that miserable feeling in the pit of your stomach when you open your eyes in the morning to face another day of doing something that doesn't make you happy.

Do you know that feeling?

I hope you don't, but if you do then I have this to say to you...

Had I not had that one moment of insane courage that allowed me to leap without overthinking it all.... well then my dream would be nothing more than that today - still just a dream.

Apart from marrying my hubby and having our children... that one moment of insane courage was the best darn thing that has happened to me.

I'm not saying that taking a blind leap of faith is the right thing for everyone to do, but I will say this; there is always going to be a reason why it's not the 'right time' to do something big and brave and scary... our fear alone will somehow manage to FIND us a reason.

But maybe whilst we are waiting for the 'perfect time'... the 'perfect opportunity' might just sail right on past us, and what an awful shame that would be.

Don't ever discredit what a big impact just a little bit of courage can have on your life.

If you ever find yourself standing on the edge of something so scary but potentially so great but you are too afraid to move forward... my advice to you would be this; close your eyes, take a big breath and just leap because it might just take only one brief moment of insane courage to bring those dreams of yours to life too.



Thursday, 11 May 2017

What's Been Going Down In Da Hood

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Vespa
My Dream Ride - From The Happy Bloom

Damn I've been feeling so gansta this week.

It's like I fell asleep on the weekend and woke up all renewed and ready to roll again.

That being said, I should probably make a little more of an effort to dress the part and wear something more fitting to my fresh 'gansta' mood than the 3 year old cardie and Uggs I've currently got on as I lie here on the couch with my poodle on my feet and my tea and chunk of home brand chocolate coated honeycomb.

I feel like I maybe I should be dressed like some bike riding leather clad badass or something... although I am under no illusions that I would be able to squeeze my current excuse of an ass into any kind of leather and I'm pretty sure the pastel coloured ride that I dream of does not exactly qualify as Badass or Gansta.

I do know this - there would be some atomic eye rolling going on if my kids read this as they would be mortified at the idea of me - a forty something year old mum - using the word Gansta.

Whatever MOFOS.

Yep kids, I just called you MOFOS.

Your mama is SO down with the lingo.

So it's no secret that I've not exactly been feeling myself lately... well not for the past 7 months or so for whatever and no particular reason, but then this week, it's like the fog lifted and the spring has returned to my limp.

I think I might have been held captive by that renegade Mercury in Uranus or whatever it's called.

That renegade retrograde or whatever planet has been supposedly causing some chaos on us humans for quite some time now, but the good news is it is cutting us loose and we are free to be like our old selves again.

Don't quote me on that - after all I did read all that at midnight on Sunday night after binging the entire series of Girl Boss on Netflix and the website I happened to read it on had loads of pictures of aliens and weird looking mummified things... so I am not exactly sure how legit it was.

But I do like the idea of being free of the Debbie downer mood I've been wearing for the past few months.

I certainly had more of a swing in my hips when I arrived at my local cafe for my coffee after the school run this morning and I wasn't afraid to flex some of my fresh new mood with the young guy at the coffee counter either.

He dropped one of my $2 coins down the side of the coffee machine when I handed him my money for my coffee. He didn't even try to stick a skinny arm or a broom down there and get it out or anything... he just stood there and looked at me as if I was going to hand him another coin from my wallet.

I of course laughed as I shoved my wallet in my bag and then as karma would have it (probably for me laughing at a minor), I gagged on the free sample of the fancy gluten free, dairy free bland as a mouthful of bleached toilet paper Paleo granola bar that I helped myself to out of spite.

I don't even like granola bars... and it made me gag.

Like proper gag.

And because I didn't yet have any COFFEE to wash it down with, I could have like properly died or something right there in the coffee shop in my 3 year old cardie and uggs, surrounded by yummy mummys in their active wear and parked bugaboos.

All the while that dude was still standing there waiting with his 'whatever weird lady' stare on, expecting me to cough up another $2 bucks.

So I did... I gave him a $2 coin from the tip jar and said "It's OK... Your day will get better because Mercury is coming out of Your Anus".

Yep... I'm SOOOOO gangsta.

Out of interest... would you have handed over another $2 bucks?
Also, has Mercury been messing with you lately?



Wednesday, 3 May 2017

13 Reasons is Way MORE Than Enough

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I finished watching that Netflix series 13 Reasons Why last night.

YES I know, I know, I'm probably a bit of an idiot for even admitting that because no show has caused a greater divide among us people since that Moses dude did that thing with the red sea... not that that was a tv show or anything... um yeah moot point.

But I get the divide, I see the merit in the arguments both the experts and the spectators have put forth from either side of the fence and rest assured I'm not here to poke at anyone who sits on either side or pass judgement on their decision.

Oh hell no, because you see; it's an insanely personal decision whether you choose to watch it or not, and it also happens to be a subject that has ignited many flaming exchanges both online and off.

Heck, even my hubby and I were on complete opposite sides of the table when I first told him that I was going to watch it. He felt very strongly against it, but he respected my reasons why I was choosing to and that's the way it should be...  we each respect each other's choices and that's why I sure as hell won't be judging your reasons to watch it or not.

None of us should.

Initially, I wasn't going to, watch it that is... given it the storyline is around suicide - a subject that I have spoken of before here and here... a subject that evokes all kinds of distressing emotions within me.

But a couple of weekends back, I picked my son and two of his friends up from a gathering with their high school friends and they were discussing 'the show' in the car on the way home.

Admittedly, I completely freaked out when they told me they had been watching it and that most of their friends had too, suicide contagion is something that absolutely terrifies me... but, I made the personal choice right there and then that I needed to watch it myself so that I was in a position to talk it through with my teenage son when inevitably the questions would come.

I watched all 13 episodes in two days and whilst I have to admit I was plagued with nightmares last night and have found myself haunted by scenes from the show all day, I don't regret my decision.

In fact, I am glad I have watched it as it flicked the switch on a lightbulb moment for me.

You see, whilst the show centres around so many different topics - all unquestionably awful and terrifying topics - it was the constant theme of them all that bothered me the most - the constant head turning.

You know what I am talking about right?

The putting on of blinkers and turning away when one sees someone else being bullied, victimised or treated badly.

I hate to think of how many times I have turned away in my lifetime, intentionally or not, and I also know myself how completely gutted I have felt when I have been the subject under attack and no one spoke up in my defence.

I cannot bear to think of that happening to anyone I care - my husband, my family, my friends or God forbid my children.

I cannot bear to think of it happening to anyone.

But it does, and it happens EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I see it on FB and instagram and in various closed online groups and communities I belong to ALL THE TIME, groups and communities that are supposed to be nurturing and supportive and yet right there within that 'safe environment' there is always someone that takes it upon themselves to throw some nasty at someone else. And whilst we all may see it happen, most of us will simply click away (the keyboard equivalent of turning our heads) and very few will be brave enough to speak up and call out the bad behaviour in fear of provoking an attack on themselves.

I understand why.

I mean it's not like we actually want to go looking for trouble right? Hell, most of us do everything we can to avoid it at all costs.

But what is that cost?

It's the same in the offline world.

We hear someone say something mean, sarcastic, maybe even quite vicious to (or about) someone else, and suddenly a cat swoops in and swipes our tongue. Yet again we think we are avoiding conflict or even doing the right thing by not getting involved.

But right there in that moment, we have a choice.

We can engage in it, ignore it or we can call it out and put a stop to it.

I like to think I have been pretty good at calling it out... but I also know that there are so many times I haven't, and that realisation was the lightbulb moment I had after watching the series and I am now more than ever resolved to pulling up my big girl panties and calling that behaviour out - whether it is against me or someone else.

None of us really need or want any additional drama in our lives... but what about the person who is standing there in front of us either in person or as a profile avatar online? They are exposed and vulnerable, shocked and hurting, and what is that doing to them?

It does all kinds of unimaginable damage.

That's what it does.

So I urge everyone, PLEASE, let's be brave enough to speak up and speak out when we see it happening. Let's speak up for ourselves when someone is doing wrong by us. Let's speak up for our friends and for strangers who need us, the fellow mum or woman in a FB group, the instagrammer we follow, the person someone is speaking so badly about behind their back.

Speak up for anyone who needs SOMEONE to stand next to them, even if it only provides comfort and support for a mere moment. It all counts in the bigger picture and hopefully our bravado will inspire someone else to be brave etc etc, maybe even our own kids...

13 Reasons Why is a sickening number of reasons anyone would feel the need to end it. Please for the love of God let's try and prevent wherever possible anyone having even one reason to begin with, because just one reason alone is one too many.

How brave are you when it comes to speaking up?
Have you watched 'that series'?