Amongst all the craziness that has been going on of late, we made a point of taking some time on Sunday to focus on our little family of five.
Carl took our oldest to smash a couple of buckets of balls on the driving range and I allowed myself to partake in what the kids dubbed the 'Putt Putt Playoff of The Year'.
Now I know that technically, as a parent, when you participate in any activity with the kids where someone will be deemed a winner or a loser, we parents are probably supposed to graciously accept the losers title and let our beloved squids bask in their limelight...
Apparently the experts are telling us otherwise, and instead they are encouraging us to teach the kids how to be gracious losers, albeit in a safe and controlled environment.
I have to tell you that I am going to go with the experts on this one.
Hang on, before you go all eye rolly on me you need to understand that the reason I am siding with the experts on this one is not so much because of the opportunity to teach my kids some lessons in life...
nup, it's because when it comes to winning or losing I am seriously as competitive as a granny in a red light knicker sale.
I am competitive and THEY declared it a competition first!
When someone declares something a competition, my eyes widen, pupils dilate, the lips curl and the blood pumps loud in my ears. It's a primal urge that takes over and it does not matter if you are 5 or 55, there will be no leniency, I am SO TAKING YOU ON!
I like to WIN competitions.
Just ask my family what it's like to play Monopoly with me!
"SSSSSSURE you can buy that property... for a million dollars, 30% interest every time you land on it from here on in, your last piece of red licorice and a ten minute back rub".
That's a totally fair trade!
OK then don't even get me started on what it's like to be my team mate in Pictionary then.
So by now you kind of have an understanding of how our Putt Putt Play Off played out now right?
I never intended for it become so serious.
It was just supposed to be a bit of fun with the kids.
But once those kids laughed at me for scoring a seven on a two par easy as hole, well that was as good as a red flag to a bull because that little competitive switch was flicked and it was ON like Donkey KONG!
I was on a mission to claim the title and it wasn't until I was on that winners podium publicly declaring my victory over a couple of sweet innocent and deflated youngens that I realised that maybe I have a tendency to take it too far sometime.
My Tiger Woods style putter throwing episode over scoring a seven on a two par green should probably have been a clue.
Or the fact that I was stink eyeing a three year old in a princess dress for distracting my line of vision on the 8th hole.
At the very least my appalling display of sorelosership when after my post victory lap there was a recount and it was determined that in actual fact the kids whooped my ass and I came last and so in a last minute show of bad sportsmanship I declared 'NO Mango Weiss bars for ANYONE".
I didn't even pull down my victory photo on instagram because hellooooo that was my fifteen minutes of glory people... I wanted to tag my kids in that photo and bask in the win ... or no win as it turns out.
Now I'm gonna go all therapists couch session on you and blame my primal competitiveness on that one time in Primary school when I lost a hula hoop competition because of outside interference.
I hula hooped for a whole frigging lunch hour and was on the verge of victory and winning a week's worth of Sunny boys when a stray handball knocked me off balance and my hoop dropped to the ground.
I WAS RIPPED OFF people!
THOSE SUNNY BOYS WERE A GOOD AS MINE!!!!
Ahhh well, I guess the experts could say that I myself am a lesson for my kids... on how NOT to win... or lose.
Is there a prize for that?
Did I win?
Are you competitive when you are playing with your kids?
What do you think is a fair price to pay when someone needs a property to complete a set in Monopoly?