Are you a Serial People Pleaser Like I Am? | Life Love and Hiccups: Are you a Serial People Pleaser Like I Am?
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Friday, 18 September 2015

Are you a Serial People Pleaser Like I Am?

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I have come to the sincere conclusion that I am a serial people pleaser.

Like practically the Hannibal Lecter kind of serial but without the fava beans, basement set up and face mask thingy and the killing people bit.

Actually I am probably more like a gigantic box of Fruit Loops kind of Cereal people pleaser rather than the Hannibal type... whatever.

My friends often tell me that I worry too much about what other people think of me and that I get far too hung on making people happy and worrying about whether someone likes me or not.

They are dead set right.

I DO spend far too much time worrying about what other people think of me, or over thinking what I said or didn't say and should or shouldn't have done, and I worry about it all... like A LOT.

Lord knows how may countless nights I have laid awake replaying conversations in my head, both verbal conversations AND written interactions because pfft, why stick with just one when you can cover both in one sitting?!

Did they know what I really meant when I said ... yada yada?

Did they think I was talking about them when I was saying ... yada yada?

Did I ask enough questions or talk too much about my point of view?

Did I offend them?

Did I piss them off?

Was I happy enough? Chatty enough? Friendly enough? Serious enough?

Do they like me???

Why don't they like me???

WHYYYYYY DON'T YOU LIKE ME????

Its frigging exhausting questioning yourself all the time.

In fact it is way more than exhausting - it is God damn downright knackering trying to be a people pleaser.

I wasn't always this way.

Nuh uh. I would even go so far as to say that once upon a time, particularly when I was in my mid to late teens, I was a completely self centred asshole.

But then I grew up... or at least started to.

I went to work in the grown up world where I soon discovered that egos don't go down well in a corporate environment and people don't generally like those egos very much.

So in true Sonia style - I made a sharp turn and went radically into the opposite direction where I lost myself deep in people pleasing territory, and it was there that I have remained to this day worrying myself stupid if I please people enough.

I think most likely (or at least in my case) such a strong desire to please and a yearning to be liked is possibly a form of insecurity... in fact I am pretty certain it is.

Should I or we or any of us really be so concerned with what people think all the time?

Is it healthy for us to worry about it too much?

OK so here's where I confess to what instigated this post theme - I have that unfollow app for instagram. *cue the red face* It's an app that tells you who follows or unfollows you and anyone who manages social media for people would probably be familiar with it.

To be fair, I generally use it for managing my client's social media accounts... but yeah OK my account is also linked up to it and so I can see when someone follows or unfollows my instagram account and I can see who is or isn't following me back.

Oh dang, you can see where this train wreck is headed can't you?!

*awkward*

So the other night I posted a photo on my instagram and later that night I noticed that not one but TWO people that I like and follow unfollowed me and I was all "Whhhhhaaaaattt? Whyyyyyyyyy? Why don't you like me anymore?  Did I upset you or offend you? What did I do wrong?"

Only I didn't ask them that, because that would have been even more awkward than me sitting here confessing this to you, and so instead I spent the night wondering why they unfollowed me and I picking myself apart looking for a reason.

I know.

No really - I KNOW!!!

Seriously Sonia.... What the Fuck?!!

Needless to say I do happen to realise that I am my own worst enemy and if I were you and you were the one telling me that someone had unfollowed you then I would have been totally "Meh their loss! Don't over think it or waste a good worry, you did nothing wrong, it's all cooool... yada yada"

Except in this case - it wasn't you, it was me and I did over think it, I did waste a shitload of good worries and I did spend the rest night wondering if I had somehow upset them or offended them or did something wrong or did they simply not like me?

Gah.

I told you - being a serial people pleaser can be frigging exhausting.

I need to find myself a new hobby... or at the very least get a life!

Are you a people pleaser?

Do you worry more than you should about what other people think or whether they like you or not?


Alright, enough of the dribble from me, it's time to get our weekend party on and I am thrilled to introduce a new regular Weekend Rewind Host who will be joining Bron and I each week - the fabulous Zoe from A Quirky Bird.



Our gorgeous friend Kelly is taking an extended break whilst she buckles down to plough through a gigantic workload but Zoe was keen to get involved and we were all HELL YES, because we think Zoe is all kinds of awesome and will make a perfect hostess and so ta'da say hello to Zoe!!!

Speaking of awesome people - this week's guest host is the incredibly clever Sarah from TOMFO. Now when I say clever, I mean like damn how did she think up that insanely cool DIY kind of clever. Every week Sarah has at least one new DIY project on her blog that will inspire the socks off you so make sure you head on over and say hello.

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Ok, linky time! To play along simply link up your favourite post from the past week and then if you get a chance, pop around and say hello to some of the other lovely linkers. The Weekend Rewind blog hopping party starts every Friday night at 8pm and links will close on Sunday night at midnight. Link up here or over on Bron's blog (Maxabella Loves) or Zoe's blog (A Quirky Bird)It does not matter where you link as your link will show up in all 4 places.