Confident or So NOT Confident - Which One are You? | Life Love and Hiccups: Confident or So NOT Confident - Which One are You?

Friday, 15 May 2015

Confident or So NOT Confident - Which One are You?

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Confidence is a weird thing isn't it? It has the potential to make or break our day... if we let it that is.

There are some days I do OK.

I'm happy to get amongst it knowing that it might take me a little while to warm up but eventually I'll come out of my shell and have a whale of a time.

Then there are other days that I just can't face anyone and the thought of putting myself out there literally has me whimpering and running back to my bed.

Online there are days that I can happily spew my words out into the big old interwebs, freely sharing what's going on in my thinker box and comfortably sparking up conversations with others.

But then there are the days that I struggle to post a picture on instagram, write a status on Facebook or a post on my blog because I'm really not confident that anyone would give two hoots about what I have to say or not.

The way I see it, most of us fall into one of three camps;.

Camp 1. You have plenty of confidence to spare and putting yourself out there really isn't an issue at all. I suspect this group is a minority, you know, just a collection of a lucky few.

Camp 2. Whoever was handing out confidence on the day you were born was a total miser because you didn't get your fair share. Luckily you have become adept at the old fake it till you make it routine and so most people wouldn't know you were lacking in confidence.

Camp 3. You were totally duped in the confidence stakes and have been left to fend for yourself with nada zilch, jack squat.

I fall into the middle group, an introvert who sometime acts like an extrovert to get herself through a particularly introverted day. But I do have some tricks up my sleeve that have helped me cope and maybe could even help some of you guys on those days when hiding in your bed is just not an option.

1. Do an affirmation.
Yeah I know, talking to yourself in the mirror can seem kind of nutjobish huh? But the truth is, it works. I find if I tell myself something enough, I actually start to believe it. Taking it one step further and closing my eyes and imagining myself in the scenario I am nervous about and picturing myself breezing through it also helps to convince me that I will be OK. Allow yourself to believe you have just succeeded and feel the relief that follows like it is real and has already happened. Law of attraction says what you put out you will get back so I figure if we keep projecting positive thoughts, then positive WILL come back... or something like that.

2. Find yourself an ally.
Pal up with a confident friend or at least someone who is really good at faking it - hopefully a little of their spare confidence will rub off on you. The worse case scenario is your pal is just as lacking as you are in the confidence stakes, but at least you have each other for company and that in itself could be enough to get you by.

3. Put it perspective. 
Is what you are about to do going to change the world? Is it a make or break scenario? Is someone elses life dependant upon you breezing through confidentially? Chances are the answer is a big fat no and once we realise that it is easier to get over ourselves and just get on with it the best we can.

4. Imagine everyone in their undies.
Ewwww OK maybe don't. I do however find that if I remind myself that most of the people I will meet will fall into camp two or three (confidence fakers or the confidence starved) that relaxes me a little and takes the pressure off me thinking I need to be anything different to them.

5. Help someone else. 
It's kind of difficult to become absorbed by your own lack of confidence when you are focused on helping someone else with theirs. The act of helping someone else to feel more confident usually has the added bonus of a little extra boost of confidence for yourself and hey when you are thirsty, every drop counts right? Right?

At the end of the day, we aren't defined by our confidence or lack there of - we are so much more than that.

Whilst I may envy the confidence others around me have, I also know that I have my own gifts to bring to the party, and to my not so confident friends; please don't ever forget - SO DO YOU!

I'm curious;

Which camp do you belong to?

Are you firmly in one or three or are you someone in the middle who occasionally dips their toes in one or three?

Have you ever let a lack of confidence stop you from doing something you really wanted to do?

Do you have a trick for dealing with a lack of confidence?

OK party people, time to get the Weekend Rewind party started and this week's guest host is the lovely Robyna from The Mummy & The Minx. Make sure you pop on over and say a big hello.

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Link up your favourite post from the past week and then if you get a chance, pop around and say hello to some of the other lovely linkers. The Weekend Rewind blog hopping party starts every Friday night at 8pm and links will close on Sunday night at midnight. Link up here or over on Bron's blog (Maxabella Loves)(Kelly's at A Life Less Frantic will be back next week).  It does not matter where you link as your link will show up in all 4 places.