But wait, to ramp the shock value up just a notch or two have a go at who I was cheating on my beautiful hubby with..... JUSTIN BIEBER.
First of all... Ewwwwwww
Shortly followed by RUHEALLY???
I mean, I get a shot at a raunchy dream and THAT was the best I could come up with?
There really was no real point of me sharing that with you other than the fact I feel slightly less like a dirty old woman by telling you about it because if I was that keen on Justin I would have kept that to myself right?
Besides, it's like I have kneeled down before you and confessed my sin and now I am clean again... or something like that.
How's your April going?
Is it just me or does this month kind of suck?
For me it has been full of extreme highs and moderate lows and to be honest I am a little knackered, somewhat over it and pretty much ready for a fresh new month to show its mug.
Everywhere I turn people are saying how they are exhausted, feeling low, have been unwell or have just had a whole lotta crazy going on lately and so I can't help but wonder - is it just a coincidence so many of us have had a sucky April?
Is it something to do with planets bumping into each other or rising or sinking or whatever it is they astrologically do... or are our moods all just kind of in sync like one big global bout of pms?
I have no idea.
I'll tell you what I do know however, and that is that there is a reason why I am so much more suited to being behind the camera rather than in front of it.
I was doing some work for a client earlier this week and they not so subtlety suggested that it might be nice if I appeared in some of the photos.
I begrudgingly agreed but then soon realised when it came time to do the shoot, that I had no one to actually take the photos of me apart from an eight year old who was in a really bad mood.
And so I was forced to use the self timer on my camera.
That was my first mistake.
Once I figured out how the hell to use that timer function, I set up the space to make it look like someone was photographing me working and then I stepped in front of the camera.
That's pretty much the moment it all went haywire and I started suffering from chronic regretitis.
You see the thing is I just cannot coordinate myself in front of the camera. Not even if my life depended on it.
There are some people who shine on film. It just comes naturally to them and they know how to stand or pose and where to put their body parts.
Well I am just unco, extremely self conscious and TOTALLY awkward and this does not make for a good combination... especially when the dogs go nuts and start acting all looping and running circles through the house and then one of them runs a million miles an hour straight into my private bits.... which really actually hurt... and the cranky eight year old is too busy laughing at me to offer to any help or ask if I am OK and... well it was fair to say the shoot was over and the only thing left to do was laugh at myself and then share some of the disastrous photos with you and let you laugh with me.
Or at me.
Whatever floats your boat.
Needless to say I will not be appearing in the photos.
I will also not be using the self timer function to pretend someone is photographing me anytime again in a hurry.
I have not had a spare minute to scratch myself let alone take to the walls with a paint brush and the hall table I was planning on making two months ago is still sitting in parts at the hardware store.
I have been eyeing off gorgeous homes on the internet this week, trying to inspire myself to somehow MAKE the time to get back stuck into the house.
It's not really working.
But I have stumbled across some insanely good looking houses.
Like this one for example, from here
Are you digging it like I am digging it?
Could you have raunchy dreams about Justin Bieber in that beautiful white space.
Please tell me you said no... at least to the Justin Bieber part anyway.
OK, it's time to introduce this week's gorgeous Weekend Rewind Guest hostess with the mostess and it is none other than the incredibly inspiring and yet downright humble Lila Wolff.
Link up your favourite post from the past week and then if you get a chance, pop around and say hello to some of the other lovely linkers. The Weekend Rewind blog hopping party starts every Friday night at 8pm and links will close on Sunday night at midnight. Link up here or over on Bron's blog (Maxabella Loves), or Kelly's at A Life Less Frantic. It does not matter where you link as your link will show up in all 4 places.
So that's it from me folks. It's over to you...
Have you had any weird dreams lately?
Had a raunchy dream about a celebrity you would like to fess up to us about?
Got any suggestions about how I can take a photo of myself without feeling like a complete dick?