I kind of feel like I am sedated today... like someone quietly snuck up and stabbed me in the butt with a sedative or something. Although, I know that I'm not sick and nor am I run down or anything of the sorts.
I think it is probably relief to be honest, relief that my boy is home from his holiday and all is as it should be... everyone back under the one roof driving each other nuts.
I thought I was OK about him being away.
In fact I think I may have even boasted to my husband that I thought it was easier this time around. But it wasn't until now that he is safe and home and I got to squeeze him and hug him harder than a castaway hugs a coconut, that I realised just how tense I have actually been this past week whilst he was away.
As much as I rant and rave about how messy, noisy, demanding and dirty those three boys of mine can be, there is nothing, and I mean Nothing I love more than having us all together, sleeping under the same roof safe and sound.
I pity the poor little buggers when the day comes that they tell me they are moving out because God knows I will most likely throw myself around their ankles and beg them not to go.
Or maybe I wont.
Time will tell I guess.
I do know that I have baggsed Christmas day for like the rest of their lives and I tell them that when they ask a girl to marry them, they need to state right up front that Mum has already booked every Christmas day and that anything else is a deal breaker.
They agree on that, for now. Although I think I may have to have it written into the will or something in the future just to be sure.
Do you ever look at your kids and think to yourself - wow. Just wow?
Those walking talking human beings have gone from being small enough to hold in your arms and completely reliant upon you to feed them and bathe them and scare the crap out of them when you blow big fat raspberries on their tummies... to these confident not so little but bigger people who have opinions of their own and want to do things for themselves without your help.
It makes me so proud of them to see them grow up and yet in a single breath it rips at my heart to think that they don't need me as much as they used to.
I remember when they were little toddlers and they were so needy and wanted something or to just touch me like all the time. I used to think how good it will be when they are a little more independent and can do more for themselves and let me actually have a shower on my own and poo in peace.
I'm so sorry I ever felt that way.
If only I knew how soon that time would actually come and how much I would miss them needing me so much and that I would become the needy one always asking them to hug me and if they miss me.
When did I become so needy?
*sigh* they are growing up and for that I should be grateful...
I'd just like it to slow down a little... or a lot.
Do you ever feel like this? Is this a normal way to feel?
Are you at the wanting them to be more independent stage or wishing they needed you more?
This week our gorgeous guest host is Kim-Marie from Kimba Likes. Make sure you pop on over and say hello, she is one crazy fun and fabulous chick.
Link up your favourite post from the past week and then if you get a chance, pop around and say hello to some of the other lovely linkers. The Weekend Rewind blog hopping party starts every Friday night at 8pm and links will close on Sunday night at midnight. Link up here or over on Bron's blog (Maxabella Loves), Sonia's blog (Sonia Styling) or Kelly's at A Life Less Frantic. It does not matter where you link as your link will show up in all 4 places.