You know the ones that effortlessly whip up a meal for ten whilst they carry on a witty conversation with us viewers and all the while they are looking totally glamorous and like they haven't actually eaten anything that they have cooked in oh ...five years at least!
At one point I was so sure that hosting a cooking show was what I wanted to do when I grew up.
Once I even went so far as to get my hubby to film me making my own cooking show.
I was probably 19 at the time and after watching the video playback later, I could foresee a number of problems with my aspiring TV career.
1. I couldn't cook very well.
2. I couldn't cook AND carry on a witty conversation cause I was too busy concentrating on the cooking part.
3. I couldn't cook very well.
4. I didn't look anything like those lucious glamazons with the tiny waists who almost convince you that you can cook and actually eat what you cook and still look like them.
5... I couldn't cook very well.
Oh and I should probably mention that I may or may not have been slightly stoned when we filmed my cooking show too.
The thing that always gets me about TV chefs is - how flipping neat they are.
I mean all the ingredients are lined up ready to go in little bowls before they start cooking - who really does that? The bench is clean, there is no bowl full of rubbish in sight and not a plate or spoon or spatula is out of place.
The reality at our house is different.
Very very different.
I tend to grab ingredients as I go, the bench is covered in... well pretty much every bottle and packet of everything and I end up possibly even more messy than the kitchen itself.
I see that TV chef career of mine drifting far far away...
But let's get real for a moment. Most of us can make a picture of food look pretty, and one could even be forgiven for believing, based on the prettiness of the said picture that the behind the scenes picture is just as serene and pretty.
Yeah not so much at our house.
Pretty much you can guarantee that the reality is, behind any pretty picture of food and stuff you see on my blog, is a picture of utter chaos and mayhem.
See what I mean?
Keeping it real people.
Here's a quirky fact you can put straight into your I can sleep now that I know that basket - Whilst I am a messy cook, I cannot actually sit down and eat until the kitchen is clean.
Go figure huh!
I am getting better at cleaning as I go, but I have yet to master the preparation part and I seriously doubt I will ever master the glamorous appearance, tiny waist and witty conversational thingy either.
I'll leave that to the Nigellas of the world.
What about you - are you a messy cook or a clean as you goer?
Do you clean before or after you eat?
What do you want to be when you grow up?