When things get hectic around here I have a habit of flicking on the autopilot switch and just going through the motions without much thought. I react in the spur of the moment, too busy to over-think anything and then I allow myself to dwell on my decisions later when it is less noisy.
I've harped on about how I am on this path of self discovery at the moment, and in my ongoing pursuit of peace and the perfect ommmm I have been focusing on being more mindful lately.
Now contrary to what all the text books say about how true discovery happens during quiet meditation or reflection, I have learnt potentially some of life's biggest lessons in this past week, not when I was quiet and in a meditative state.... I mean quiet and meditative states don't really exist in this house... nope - these lessons came to me when I was smack bang in the middle of 'a moment'.
A case in point was my epiphany head smack moment that occured last week whilst I was in the middle of a mid strength huff and puff tanty. I was in a hurry with 2 kids in tow and I needed to get cash out of the atm. The guy in front of me decided to check the balance of every freaking account he had, which by the number of cards he kept pulling out was a lot and I was getting ready to crack him a real doozy for being selfish when people were clearly waiting.
The kids weren't fazed by the waiting but they were confused by my sudden turn of mood and right then I realised that how I respond or react when I am in these moments is important to my kids as they are learning from me how they should react themselves if they ever find that they are in a similar situation.
For example...
How do I cope when someone is being selfish and hogging an atm? Do I passive aggressively huff and puff and stomp my feet or do I remain calm and politely remind them that others are waiting?
How do I cope with the stress of a busy workload. Do I fall in an exhausted heap, admit defeat and pretend I am in a coma or do I take a breath, make a plan and soldier through?
How do I feel after I have screamed in anger at the kids when they go nuts and completely out of control. Do I wallow in guilt or failure and report myself to the parenting police, or do I apologise to them and ask for their help to find a way to get their attention that doesn't involve me screaming like a banshee in future?
How do I react to the awful things I see on the news? Do I live in fear, build a fort or a bunker and hide from the world and hope that we are never affected by these things? Or do I bravely accept the reality and then do what is necessary to protect myself and my tribe whilst I go on enjoying my life?
How do I show those I love how I feel about them? Do I sit in silence and hope that they know how I feel or do I seize the moment and use my voice and my actions to show them?
How do I respond when someone is rude to me? Do I mentally stick both rude finger up at them but stay quiet and just take it or do I stand up for myself and tell them how they made me feel and that it is not cool or acceptable?
When I don't agree with someone and my opinion is completely different to theirs, do I let them talk me into the believing that their way is right and mine is wrong, or do I have the courage and conviction to respectfully disagree and stand by my own beliefs?
When I am scared of judgement, do I act like a sheep and do whatever it takes to avoid it? Or do I do my thing and accept that how others see me is their issue and not mine to deal with?
These squids of mine are like little sponges who know no different than the examples I set and the realisation of just how ginormous that responsibility is has kind of taken me by surprise. It shouldn't be a surprise to me at all. But it sorta kinda was.
Rather than beat myself up abut this though, I am going to notch it up to another life lesson. I now realise how important it is to remain mindful during the crazier moments life throws at us, and my eyes are open to just how much I also owe it to my kids too.
Do you ever crack it in front of your kids?
If so - do you beat yourself up about it?
What techniques do you use to try and remain calm and in the moment?
