Please let me first preface this post by explaining that I am premenstrual which generally means I am cranky, irrational, easily riled and can turn in the blink of an eye from an ethereal picture of calm to a monster who's eyes are rolling somewhere around my head whilst a combination of froth and venom is simultaneously spewing from my mouth.
Just a normal month really.
I don't make a habit of jumping on my broomstick and going all psycho, but this last week I have received a huge amount of email from brands and PR companies that quite frankly have just got my blood boiling.
I work in the corporate world myself and I totally get it, you have targets and KPIs to meet and your clients expect you to stretch their advertising dollar as far as possible. But come on! Asking me to spend time and effort on helping you achieve your goals with little more than Jack Squat in return?
I wasn't born yesterday. (Although I could charge more if my birth year was indeed 2013 as I would be a freaking baby genius).
When I get all hot and bothered I like to write - lists, menus, catalogue my CDs in alphabetical order and ranty emails. Whatever - writing helps to calm me so I see reason.
Sometimes there is no reason to see so the simple act of writing out an email and then deleting it is enough to settle me down.
This week I drafted up some responses to a few emails that really got my knickers all in a twist. Fortunately for me I had the common sense to file them away in drafts until such a time that my uterus isn't doing its best Hannibal Lector impersonation on my insides.
Take for example my drafted response to the 3 companies that emailed me asking me to review a stroller, a baby swaddle and a breast pump. I actually went so far as to copy and paste their email addresses into the one post and so I could respond to all 3 at once..... if the urge persisted.
Here was the response I drafted to them;
I was on a roll and I could have quite happily continued on my little tirade and respond to ALL of the numerous companies who asked me to promote their business on my Facebook, write about their products on the blog and pin photos of their new range on Pinterest .... for NOTHING in return.
Sure, I am happy to flog my ass until the wee hours of the morning for your products for the joy of it. NOT!
Sure, I'd be honoured to reduce my advertising and sponsored post fees so you can exploit more bloggers to write about the same stuff all the while staying within your budget. NOT!
Sure, I would be thrilled to write a minimum 600 word post and insert key SEO tags to raise your Google ranking in return for you sharing a link to my post on your Facebook Page. Cause I can see how that will get me 50,000 new Facebook Likers .... NOT!
I AM NOT A FREAKING CHARITY!!
Seriously I pose this question to any PR company or brand that asks bloggers to do something for virtually nothing in return. Would you commit to hours of work for no pay if YOUR boss worded a really nice ego stroking email requesting you to do so?
I don't think so!
Look I never set out to make a living out of blogging, however if I can earn a little extra money on the side from working with brands I love - brilliant! But please don't expect me to sit down and invest precious time in working for you just for the love of it.
If you want my kids to try your products in front of the camera, be photographed in your clothes and be involved in a sponsored post, I have to ask them first! If they say yes, then they get a cut of the fee I am paid. You rip me off - you rip my kids off!
Oh by the way, it is REALLY bad manners to send an email out telling me how much you LOVE my blog and how clever my writing is when your email is addressed to Dear Blogger. Duh!
There are some fantastic PR companies out there who do a fabulous job at working with bloggers. Maybe you need to get some tips on how they conduct themselves before you put your foot in your mouth and insult the Australian Blogging community.
As you were.
Have you had any ridiculously insulting PR pitches lately?
Come on - get it off your chest. It feels great!