On The Subject of Dobbing .... | Life Love and Hiccups: On The Subject of Dobbing ....
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Wednesday, 6 February 2013

On The Subject of Dobbing ....

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"I'm telling on you!"

errrrr its a few simple words that gets me all agitated and flicks me from calm to pissed off in less than a second.

Dobbing. Im gonna go out on a limb and say that I'm thinking most parents have had experience with this subject. Kids dob on each other - fact! And as kids ourselves I'd go so far as to say most of us were probably pretty good at it at sometime or another.

I was too good at it.

I used to dob on my brother all the time. "Sean finished the coke", "Sean was watching something he shouldn't have been", Sean this Sean that ..... usually followed up with "But I'm a good girl aren't I?"

Oh God I hate the 7 year old me!!

My poor brother used to cop it big time. I used to dob on him for things he didn't do at times he wasn't even at home. Example in point;

*Cue a blood curdling scream from me* then "Muummmmm, Sean Just hit me in the face".

Feel sorry for poor little me picked on by her big brother?

Don't! Most of the time I said those words, poor Sean wasn't even home. I used to do it for attention I guess or revenge - either or.

It is quite common with kids to dob and as parents we usually dislike that behaviour and actively discourage it in favour of more constructive ways to handle things.

What I dislike even more is adults who have not yet grown out of this childish habit.

Over the weekend I was banned from Facebook. It was the second time I have received a suspension.

The first happened when someone reported me for posting a Whyatt cartoon of a man lying on a massage bed and dangling his doodle and tacklebox through the hole in the massage bench where most people put their face. His wife was lying on the bench next to him and simply says "Other way round Jeffrey".

I thought it was hilarious, such is my obviously warped humour.

Someone however didn't find it so funny and reported me for being offensive.

Lesson learned from my end.

Skip forward to December last year when I shared this absolutely gorgeous picture I found on Pinterest.

To be honest I never paid it another thought after I posted it until last weekend when I received another ban after I was reported again this time for this particular image. Apparently it went against Facebook's child pornography laws and someone was offended enough by this image to report me.

Fair enough.

I get it, everyone sees things differently and whilst I look at this photo and see an adorable little cherub and get all excited about Christmas, others perhaps see something more sinister.

Maybe it was irresponsible of me in this day and age to share something like that on a public forum. I accept that, my mistake. God knows there are far more disturbing images floating around Facebook than this one that I would have deemed as more offensive, but I am not going to judge someones opinion on the matter.

What I will judge on this occasion is the way it was handled.

I don't know, I kinda thought my Facebook page was very warm and inviting. I am very open and I like to think I am pretty darn honest. I like to share stuff that makes people laugh or inspires them and I am equally as entertained and inspired by the comments and things you guys share with me and each other on my page.

We have a fabulous community on the Life Love and Hiccups page. We all don't always agree on everything that is discussed, but hey that's what makes for a colourful community. But when there has been a difference of opinions it has always been considerate and respectful.

But what part of reporting me for the above image is respectful?

Surely the considerate thing to do if one was offended would be to simply ask me for the image to be removed, either by commenting on the photo, on the page or sending me a DM. Telling me politely you took offence and would I kindly consider removing it, would have been so much better. I am totally reasonable and never in a zillion years would I ever intentionally offend anyone. In fact I would have been mortified at offending someone and would have taken it down in a flash.

But COME ON -  reporting me for inappropriate behaviour??? It's a little harsh don't you think?

In my opinion in this day and age it is too easy to hide behind the safety of our computers and our telephones and play vigilante. As a lovely commenter on my facebook page points out, people go so far these days as to call the police because a neighbour is using their hose.

Why not simply ask your neighbour politely for your freaking hose back? What happened to good old friendly civil chats or some form of open communication like a letter or a note if you are uncomfortable in speaking through your voice.

It is also far too easy for people to use technology to intentionally cause trouble for whatever reason. I'm not saying that this was the way it was in this case, then again, maybe it was. It certainly goes on enough and most of us have been privvy to seeing it happen at some stage or another.

When my kids don't like or disagree with something that someone else is doing, I try to teach them to talk to the person involved. Don't just dob. Dobbing is not a fair way of dealing with minor or trivial incidents.

Dobbing is a cop out, a nuisance, and usually pretty damn unproductive.

Dobbing is what a manipulative little 7 year old would do to try and get her big brother completely busted and possibly even grounded because she is holding some stupid little grudge for something or other.

*crickets*

Ummmm yep OK.

Look as you can clearly see by my shady childhood example, I am not angel. I have made many mistakes, and sure as hell I will make many more. But for heavens sake when I do make those mistakes - it is far more constructive to point them out to me rather than just throw me to the lions.

Anyway rant over and enough said!

I am interested though - what are your thoughts and opinion on dobbing?
Am I too left field here?