I have a real problem when it comes to donating to charities - my problem is I can't say NO.
Seriously it was when I was recently sorting through my tax receipts getting ready to do the dreaded Tax return, when I realised just what a big problem I have. When I added up the amount of money I have donated in the past financial year I very nearly shat my pants. One could be forgiven for thinking I was incredibly wealthy and just loved handing out money, but that is so far from the truth. The reality is I am the biggest sucker for kids charities, disease research, people who stand outside shopping centres looking sad and pretty much any charity that rings me at home with their heartbreaking spiel.
I would love to tell you that I am a distant cousin of Mother Theresa and that giving is just a part of my divinely unselfish and beautiful nature, but that would be utter B.S. If I am to be completely honest with you, the root of my problem is I am chronically superstitious and I have this absolutely insane fear that if I turn someone down when they ask for money, Karma will track me down and sucker punch me in the face.
Do you know where I am going with this? Please tell me you can relate!
God forbid if I get a phone call from the Kids Cancer foundation or a foundation like Camp Quality - these are such incredibly deserving charities for such completely gut wrenching, heart ripping diseases. I am so frightened that if I do not donate generously to these guys, that one of my kids may be struck down by a similar fate as a punishment for my selfishness and heartless lack of generosity.
I can so remember when my boys were babies - the SIDS foundation was on the receiving end of my superstitious giving as I simply could not take the risk of what I feared could happen if I didn't donate. It has truly gotten so bad that now I break out in a cold sweat when I approach my local shops and I see someone collecting money as I know I am about to hand over some of the weeks grocery money to ensure my soul is safe. And it is not just that the little Asian Salvation Army Man is so lovely and unimposing that I cant resist slipping hm some cash, it is a genuine fear that if I don't help him fill his bucket, one day I or one of my friends or family may need some help from that same bucket but that bucket will be empty.
My hubby gets really cross with me about this and I don't really blame him at all, and when I admitted my fears to friends recently, they were truly ready to have me committed. Deep down I know I am being completely irrational and that I need to select one or two charities a year and support just those, but that little gnawing doubt in the back of my mind just continues eat away at my ability to see reason on this.
This month already, phone calls from the Kids Epilepsy Research centre and the Rural Bush Fire Brigade have seen me reaching in to my purse for my credit card - you know, just in case my house catches fire whilst I am having an epileptic fit.
I would love to hear from you guys out there - does anyone else behave in this absurd way, or do I just notch this up as another of my neurotic traits and leave it for the psychology students I will probably end up donating to, to figure out?