Dear Children, (a sort of loving letter from Mum) | Life Love and Hiccups: Dear Children, (a sort of loving letter from Mum)
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Saturday, 8 October 2011

Dear Children, (a sort of loving letter from Mum)

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To my gorgeous little dudes,

I have enjoyed spending time with you these holidays - really I have.

We have had many an hour of fun together. We have been Smurfin at the movies, we have learnt to ride bikes with no training wheels. We have had 6 sleep overs in total, 2 of which involved 2 extra kids not one. We have shopped up a storm and we have raided the toy departments at 2 stores and set everything off that we could in one hit. We have camokazied at our local park, we have eaten our favourite pizza shop out of their toppings. We have cooked cakes and curries. We ate gelatos, red licorice and sour snakes until we were sick. We have attended and flunked Puppy school together and we have harassed the neighbours with our scooters and skateboards.

Dear children, despite all this fun, I am so ready for you to put your bags on your back, hats on your head and go and exhaust someone else, namely your teachers for a little while.

Whilst we have undeniably had a ball, you have well and truly spent your poor mother.

I have grazes in places I shouldn't have from tripping over your bikes, skateboards and scooters and my ever faithful credit card now does a runner whenever I reach for it. I have read every magazine in the waiting room at the local hospital as I waited for you to release a months worth of meals you were hanging on too. Apart from hospitals we have visited our GP 3 times, the Podiatrist twice, the health shop, and the local chemist now rolls out the red carpet whenever we rock up to fill yet another script. I have paid for an extra pump at the local Shell petrol station just by driving you from A to B and everywhere else up to Z and back. Our local Woolies is sold out of bananas and blueberries, and the shelves that housed the popcorn and chips now lays empty. I have vacuumed and mopped no less than 28 times these holidays and the head on my trusty Dyson, now resembles Chewbacca more than a cleaning machine.

breathe....

The washing machine is about to cark it, and it will take me years to sort through the piles in the laundry. I have cleaned poop, wee, vomit and snot and heaven knows what else and I have been through 8 rolls of paper towel and 2 packs of Chux magic erasers.. I have listened to you laugh at the same jokes in Cheaper by The Dozen well over 3 dozen times and I have changed the game on the Wii and play station for you more times than I care to count.
I have cut up the equivalent of 2 watermelons and if I ever have to make french toast again I think I will barf. I now owe the garbage collectors numerous 6 packs for picking up the extra rubbish for us and I can recite the words to Phineas and Ferb backwards in native Latin.

Guys it has truly been a blast and I am soooo looking forward to the next round of holidays in Arghhhh 9 weeks. But for now it is time for you to pack your bags, squash your feet back into your school shoes (they can last you another 9 weeks if you scrunch your toes up), take your fish oil and go annoy someone else dive back in to your books.

Teachers.....THANK YOU, I'm so sorry and God Speed!

xxx Mummy

P.S I will be in the vodka aisle at Dan Murphy's replenishing my coping coridial supplies if you need me.

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