Life Love and Hiccups

Friday, 24 April 2015

And This is Why I Stay Behind The Camera

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I had a dream the other night that I was cheating on my hubby, which was shocking enough in itself.

But wait, to ramp the shock value up just a notch or two have a go at who I was cheating on my beautiful hubby with..... JUSTIN BIEBER.

First of all... Ewwwwwww

Shortly followed by RUHEALLY???

I mean, I get a shot at a raunchy dream and THAT was the best I could come up with?

There really was no real point of me sharing that with you other than the fact I feel slightly less like a dirty old woman by telling you about it because if I was that keen on Justin I would have kept that to myself right?

Ahhh right.

Besides, it's like I have kneeled down before you and confessed my sin and now I am clean again... or something like that.

How's your April going?

Is it just me or does this month kind of suck?

For me it has been full of extreme highs and moderate lows and to be honest I am a little knackered, somewhat over it and pretty much ready for a fresh new month to show its mug.

Everywhere I turn people are saying how they are exhausted, feeling low, have been unwell or have just had a whole lotta crazy going on lately and so I can't help but wonder - is it just a coincidence so many of us have had a sucky April?

Is it something to do with planets bumping into each other or rising or sinking or whatever it is they astrologically do... or are our moods all just kind of in sync like one big global bout of pms?

I have no idea.

I'll tell you what I do know however, and that is that there is a reason why I am so much more suited to being behind the camera rather than in front of it.

I was doing some work for a client earlier this week and they not so subtlety suggested that it might be nice if I appeared in some of the photos.

I begrudgingly agreed but then soon realised when it came time to do the shoot, that I had no one to actually take the photos of me apart from an eight year old who was in a really bad mood.

And so I was forced to use the self timer on my camera.

That was my first mistake.

Once I figured out how the hell to use that timer function, I set up the space to make it look like someone was photographing me working and then I stepped in front of the camera.

That's pretty much the moment it all went haywire and I started suffering from chronic regretitis.

You see the thing is I just cannot coordinate myself in front of the camera. Not even if my life depended on it.

There are some people who shine on film. It just comes naturally to them and they know how to stand or pose and where to put their body parts.

Me?

Well I am just unco, extremely self conscious and TOTALLY awkward and this does not make for a good combination... especially when the dogs go nuts and start acting all looping and running circles through the house and then one of them runs a million miles an hour straight into my private bits.... which really actually hurt... and the cranky eight year old is too busy laughing at me to offer to any help or ask if I am OK and... well it was fair to say the shoot was over and the only thing left to do was laugh at myself and then share some of the disastrous photos with you and let you laugh with me.

Or at me.

Whatever floats your boat.

Needless to say I will not be appearing in the photos.

I will also not be using the self timer function to pretend someone is photographing me anytime again in a hurry.



As for my home renos... well they have been going well.

NOT!

I have not had a spare minute to scratch myself let alone take to the walls with a paint brush and the hall table I was planning on making two months ago is still sitting in parts at the hardware store.

I have been eyeing off gorgeous homes on the internet this week, trying to inspire myself to somehow MAKE the time to get back stuck into the house.

It's not really working.

But I have stumbled across some insanely good looking houses.

Like this one for example, from here




Are you digging it like I am digging it?

Could you have raunchy dreams about Justin Bieber in that beautiful white space.

Gahhhh NO.

Please tell me you said no... at least to the Justin Bieber part anyway.

OK, it's time to introduce this week's gorgeous Weekend Rewind Guest hostess with the mostess and it is none other than the incredibly inspiring and yet downright humble Lila Wolff.


Image Map

Link up your favourite post from the past week and then if you get a chance, pop around and say hello to some of the other lovely linkers. The Weekend Rewind blog hopping party starts every Friday night at 8pm and links will close on Sunday night at midnight. Link up here or over on Bron's blog (Maxabella Loves), or Kelly's at A Life Less Frantic.  It does not matter where you link as your link will show up in all 4 places.


So that's it from me folks. It's over to you...


Have you had any weird dreams lately?
Had a raunchy dream about a celebrity you would like to fess up to us about?
Got any suggestions about how I can take a photo of myself without feeling like a complete dick?



Thursday, 23 April 2015

Caravanning In Style

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I have a dream.

Sheesh, I sound like I am trying to be Martin Luther King but without even a hint of the virtuous and honourable traits that great man had.

My dream is far more shallow than his.

Like WORLDS apart!

My dream (just one among many dreams) is to have a caravan that I can makeover. A funky little (or ot so little) van that I can deck out and park in my garden between holidays as a place I can hide out in whenever I feel like running away from home... which just so we are clear is not all THAT frequently, but enough that I would certainly get my return on investment.

Nothing too fancy (ahahaha). 

A little airstream would do me just fine thank you very much. 

My caravan would have a lock on the inside to keep munchkins out and me in, a really clear wifi signal,a super comfy bed and a gin deck.

It would be white and bright and packed to the inch with super cool furnishings.

This particular caravan I stumbled across on the interwebs when I was doing a little time wasting research would work for me. 

No really, it would totally be suffice.

Oh sweet baby cheeses - can you image owning something like this uber cool caravan which was a collaboration between Caravanolic and Viceversa Interior?

I reckon with one of these in my backyard, I could also achieve one of my other dreams of being a calmer more serene kind of individual.

In fact I reckon I could pretty much be one of the most zen mum on this planet if I owned one of these.

Feast your weary eyes upon this baby you guys.




Not too shabby huh?

I'd even be willing to take the family on a little camping trip in my glampervan... if they were super nice to me.

Do you know, despite all my gushing about owning and doing up a caravan, I have never actually camped in a caravan before?

No bull! Never in my whole life!

I think I would be good at it.

No I'm pretty sure I would freaking rock it!.

Of course my happy camper, I'm not a caravan snob or anything. I wouldn't be opposed to a little tent like this in the back yard either. ;)

 Do you have an air stream you need taking off your hands?
I'd be more than willing to help you out.


Wednesday, 22 April 2015

A Cruel CRUEL Kind of Storm

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Oh hai!

I cannot tell you how good it is to be back online after that crazy storm we had rip through Sydney these past few days.

Where we are on the Northern Beaches took quite the battering with houses being flooded and cars and property destroyed by falling trees.

We got off SO easy in comparison to others.

The photo above was after the first part of the storm tore through, the next round did quite a bit more damage and the backyard now officially looks like a place where leaves and branches go to die - but no fallen trees in our property thankfully.

We did however cop an almighty blackout.

Two days of on and off power and next to no internet or mobile coverage and I was developing a very unattractive twitch.

The twitching was slightly (read: astronomically) exasperated by the the fact that the storm hit on the day that the kids were supposed to be heading back to school.

Yep SUPPOSED to be heading back but instead of packing them a sambo and waving an enthusiastic bye bye - I had them couped up indoors sending me absolutely FREAKING INSANE!

It was a cruel gag mother nature played on us parents on the first day back to school.

Crueler than any kind of cruel old storm.

Like a you have won a million dollars... no just kidding kind of CRUEL I tell you.

So apart from rocking in the corner with no internet coverage and three children leaning over me like little old crones waving flat iPads and battery drained iPods in my face and moaning "Booooooored. Weeeeee arrrrrrre sooooooo boooooooooored over and over again, I've been doing alright.

Better than alright actually.

I had my date with the camera up the bum people on Monday... not that I would really call it a date.

Actually the use of the word date in itself is probably highly inappropriate given the context of this topic but whatever.

My point is if it were a proper date, a gentleman would have at least bought me a drink first and even if that gentlemen bought me a whole flipping distillery that um area would still normally remain off limits.

Alas, drink or no drink, there was a job to be done and they went there anyway...  but the good news is that the polopy thingy (totally a technical term) looked (in the Doctor's opinion) to be benign looking.

I still need to wait for pathology to come back before I start flinging my bra from the table tops but hey - that Doctor does about 20 of those kinds of procedures a day so I am pretty sure I can trust his opinion.

Good news huh!

Once again I worried myself stupid and panicked before I needed to.

When will I learn???

Have your kids gone back to school?

Did you get walloped by the storm?

Have you ever been left without any internet whilst being caged up for days with kids and no power? 

I'm pretty sure it would rank highly on a list of the most inhumane ways to torture a mum!